A Mother's Day Haiku

Because I'm a great daughter I sent my mom an adorable handmade card that included this beautiful Haiku:

Happy Mother's Day
Sorry I'm so far away
And Kevin* so close.

:]] DEFINITELY winning the favorite kid award this year.

Hope you all have a fab Mother's Day! :D
<3

*the brother

Are you ready for this??

OMG TWO POSTS IN A ROW ON [TECHNICALLY] THE SAME DAY!?!? WHAT IS THIS MADDNESS!?!?!?

The epic nature of caps lock is so underrated. It's fabulous.

Anyways, one of the multiple tiny loves of my life just equated my lack of posting to that of natran. WHICH IS AWESOME, and kind of made me want to put off posting even longer to continue the trend. I mean, maybe this whole time my lack of posts was a purposeful homage to the great and Australian beacon of internet hilarity that is natran!?

But then of course, this desire to put off posting and emulate one of the internets most shining of pixilated stars led me to want to post immediately to tell you about it. OH YEAH IRONY I HAZ IT.

*pelvic thrust

Anyways, I'm slightly more conscious now then I was 10 hours ago (I know not only did I update before 2013 but I did so within 12 hours of my last posting! Please, hold your applause and use your hands to make me some lunch instead. That's the kind of appreciation I can get behind, or around if you get what I mean? eh? eh? ...Cause it's food, and if I eat it I'll be around it? eh? yeah?... ... yes I'll stop). So yeah. Obviously FAR more conscious and alert this time around... You see why I have to stay up to 3? When the sun's out I can see how ridiculous I'm being. But by light of tumblr and the hazy hallucinations of magic gremlins my essays sound like Shakespeare had a baby with Mozart (which is problematic both on the front that I am no Shakespeare/Mozart baby [not to mention the impossibility of male/male pregnancies], and also that all of my essays [to my knowledge] have been written in prose...).

on THAT note,

-okay, so I just tried to write you a plithy Petrarchan Sonnet (Google it, son.), you know to continue the Shakespeare joke and then we could all laugh and go, "oh that Alex she's so clever te he he." BUT instead I realized it's, like, hard. (Frakkin scansion man...[though note I didn't even ATTEMPT composition, I know my limits, mostly]) Sooo I stopped, and instead you get this. Be grateful.

*shoves cookie in mouth *smiles *vanishes in a poof of unfulfilled promise

*peeks in *waves

So, hi.

It's currently 2:24am on the night before my first final of Winter Quarter 2012. And how am I spending my time you ask? Well, my dear thought projections, I am procrastinating.

I know! Brilliant right?

My brain is just such the sweetheart when it comes to getting shit done.

GAH. No seriously, it's gotten obscene you guys OBCENE!!

It's like my brain no longer knows how to function without reaching massively sleep deprived levels of hallucinogenic chaos. Add that to my masochistic tendencies of watching new TV series' the second finals week begins. [this quarter it's Supernatural, and yes it's awesome]. I mean who spends the first two days of Finals week, not studying, but watching 19 (yes I said NINETEEN, episodes of TV). WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!?!?!

Le sigh.

The thing is. I'm mostly writing this in an attempt to get worked up about the fact that my procrastination levels should earn a spot in the Guinness Book of Records for sheer ridiculousness. 'Cause really? I can't really work up the effort to care. It's problematic. The Jenioritis [not a typo, it's a play on Jenior (A Jr with Senior standing) and Senioritis, I know I think I'm super clever] has struck hard my friends.

And yes, I do realize that coming back to a Blog I haven't visited in AGES marks yet another stage in the wormhole of doom that is my procrastination controlled life, but you know what?

Also, my swearing has gotten a bit out of hand. Though again ^.

Enough about my productivity and lack thereof.

QUICK UPDATE OF THE GOINGS ON IN MY ADVENTUROUS LIFE OF ADVENTURE:

-Recently[ish] discovered I will be graduating early {insert: Fear & Panic}

-More Recently[ish] decided to study abroad in London {insert: Excitement & Flailing Arms}

Gah I need to blog more. (or get more sleep) As I have no idea what else beyond Finals has been/ will be going on in my life.

ANYWAYS, I am sorry for not posting in half an age. {insert: laughter at the idea ANYONE cares}

It was for a while due to the fact that our Lord and Master Google refused to allow me to log in, and then later my King and Overlord Procrastination distracted me with Kitty Blogs and Klaine fanfiction.

So, until next time may your dreams be filled with clouds of rainbows and your days be filled with naps.

*sneaks off to "study"

*opens neopets.com

PS. ALSO watch >> THIS << it is beautiful and totally worth the spam-esc arrows and capitalization.

Procrastination Leakycon and Allergies

So as per usual I should be reading another 70 or so pages of "Savage Peace," an actually not so bad historical novel/book/thing on the US in 1919, and then reading some juicy Saussure (sp?). Buuuuut instead I'm cruising the internet for some distraction before I head off to my second Harry Potter Alliance meeting. (I KNOW! I actually WENT to a club meeting! I'm as shocked as you. The things I do for Harry Potter...)

Unfortunately other than the reading I should be doing, and joining up with the DA (our chapter's name, I KNOW RIGHT!!!) not much has been going on here at the Batcave.

Spring is upon us, which in my case means my Second Annual Allergy Attack from Hell. You'd think I'd wise up and remember to take some anti-allergy meds when I wake up... but no go. My brain doesn't remember the debilitating power of the evil pollen fog until I'm knee deep in it and it's too late to turn back. Eventually I'll get it down, but until then I shall sneeze like a BAMF.

Speaking of BAMFs, LeakyCon is FAST approaching and I'm FRAKKING EXCITED! :D It's going to be brilliant. Or it better be. I bought my plane tickets last month, which means barring someone chaining me down or striking that plane from the sky I AM GOING TO LEAKYCON2011!! HELLZ YEAH! :D And if that wasn't awesome enough, I got my round trip tickets to Orlando International for a measly $10! Thank you Southwest Rapid Rewards!! So look out Florida! I'm coming for you!!

Now seeing as this has been sufficiently pointless and time consuming I shall leave you with a haiku (because Your Pants has made them into one of my favorite hobbies!).

Oh hey little blog

You say it's been seven months?

My Bad. See You Soon!

and yes, I know I'm crap at them. But that's half the fun yeah??

kthnxbai

On whining and my inevitable zombification

Why is it that I only write these when I should be doing something else?

The something else: 3 page Chaucer essay.

Which if we're being perfectly honest, shouldn't even really be that bad... it's mostly that I'm lazy and noncommittal and protesting middle english... though really middle english isn't all that bad either... I might also be a little whiney. Though to my credit it is almost 3 am and I have done a lot this weekend. Though really I should have finished this damn essay hours ago. *shakes fist at Chaucer

I'm super excited for tomorrow/later today! (that is I will be if I ever finish this essay) Because tomorrow/today marks day one of Humans vs. Zombies at my campus!! I know! Super exciting, I doubt I'll last more than a day or so, but it should be exciting all the same! :]] I mean the fact I have no nerf guns or socks to speak of is completely irrelevant... It'll be fun being a Zombie anyway.

Well that's enough procrastination for now. Before it gets any later I need to roll up my snuggie sleeves, refill my Batman glass and crack out some Chaucer close reading like you've never seen before.

'ta

First Day of School and a Poem for SWB

Okay so my day went like this:

[CAUTION: not terribly interesting at all]

8:20am (phone checked for accuracy)- Phone Call from my neighbor asking if I was ready yet for our 9am class and which bus we would be taking to said 9am class. To which I responded, that OF COURSE I was ready as I tumbled out of bed into the clothes I had thankfully laid out the night before, and that It'd prolly be best to take the 8:40 bus.

8:25am- Dove into clothing and shuffled bleary eyed into the bathroom.

8:30am- Looked around kitchen to determine there wasn't enough time to eat cereal and snagged half a cookie from under the microwave (Hey, I'm a girl who knows how to start a new year off right).

8:32am- Attempted to tie my purple converse over my new, mismatched Costco socks while holding the half eaten half cookie in my mouth.

8:35am- Met my neighbor and together darted through the parking lot and across the street to mingle with students in various other states of alertness as we waited for the bus to take us away.

8:40-8:52am- Crowded bus ride. Girl fell of bike next to intersection. Had a lot of fun listening to the bus radio fantasizing about becoming a 10-4 talking bus driver.

8:52-10:20am- Found a friend of ours also in our Food science class, sat with her and decided that her fake nails were the source of her power a la Samson and his hair.

10:something- I took the bus back home and chatted with the gross roommate and stuff, found out the internet wasn't working and was sad.

11:somethingam- Sent a passive aggressive email to our internet company about getting our internet to work and stuff.

11:something-12:something- compulsively checked email hoping for some sign of life from the demonic internet company

12:something- Decided to test the internet "just one more time" I also sang to it in hopes that that would help and MAGICMAGICMAGIC IT WORKED! :D

12:57pm- Texted Giann as I danced around the apartment in SUPEREXCITEMENT

1:00pm- refreshed the internet again just to be for sure for sure. Then Danced some more when it did

1:00pm-2:30pm- I wrestled with the wireless router and beat it into submission granting the glorious Batcave2 internet MAGIC!

2:30ish-2:45ishpm- Biked 1.5 miles to my Children's lit class

3:00-3:10pm- Attempted a Sudoku handed out by some textbook website advertisers

3:10-4:30sih- Sat in Class. Got excited to read 2 books a week for the next 10 weeks. Looked at paintings of children.

4:30ish-4:45ish- Biked home in the HOT HOT HOT sun only to find my bike parking stolen. So I stole someone else's and collapsed onto the couch with some cold water in an attempt to stop melting.

Then I went on the internet and promised to blog my day for ya'll. Since I started typing this a friend stopped by and we attempted to deal with the drama of Chem placement tests, chatted about the inherent creepiness of the Patriot Act, and planned a night of food eating and TV watching to celebrate a successful first day.

Sorry this was so boring... But it's basically how my day was. Aside from a girl falling off her bike, getting the internet to finally work and biking 3 miles it's been pretty average. Which I like. :] ALSO today is my dad's birthday which is exciting and stuff. :]]

Before I sign off I have one last thing to include. I promised my dear SWB that she would get her own poem too. And while it's not quite as long winded as the one I wrote for Pham it stands on it's own, small but powerful. :]

So without further ado:

Natalie Marlo

You smell like fresh baked cookies

When you bake cookies

luff you ;D

For Phammy

Roses are Red
Violets are Blue

You wanted a Post

So I'll write one for you.

Phammy Bo Bammy

Phee Phi Pho Phammy

When people get sick

Their hands get all clammy

and they cuddle all cozy

In their favorite blue jammies

Writing up poems

For their favorite friends

Though I'm not really sick

That part was pretend.

I know my rhyme sucks

But you wanted a Blog

Cause you called me a shmuck

For waiting so long

To post something new

So I'll write this for you

Because Phammy my dear

You've caused me to fear

Your vicious sharp sting

And the pain you will bring

Should I ever slack off

And not blog enough.

So consider this one

A sort of trial run

Or a promise of sorts

For some bloggish reports

To be posted posthaste

If that is to your taste.

Because Phammylicious

Though your threats are vicious

You are also delicious

Which makes this an auspicious

Moment to declare,

HEY PHAMMY

You've splendid, cute hair.

:]]